The Children's Hero
“I remember displaced families and people running across streets as fast as they could run. We had a lot of trouble with snipers at the time.” His face stern as scenes of Bosnia shadow across it. “Also, the absence of color. The villages were shell ridden and dreary. It was a very depressing place. I feel our presence made a difference and I am proud that NATO intervened.”
Kevin Stone , now at 36 years of age, and his unit spent eighteen months establishing and then preserving peace during and after the war. “I had never seen death before until Bosnia. I appreciate life more now based on my military experiences.” After seeing what war brings, he adapted a “"Kill them all and let God sort them out" view. How would that attitude affect his life after his term of service? Kevin always had an open mind to find the drive and accomplish his goals but would this new view corrupt him? Kevin's military past would abruptly decide his civilian future for him.
His green eyes are gazing at the photos of family and fellow soldiers on the crimson walls of his office. Kevin, sitting back in his computer chair, runs his hand through his short dark hair and asks me if I'd like to see some of the stuff he brought back from his time spent overseas. I gather my things from the interview and follow the stocky 5'7” veteran. Kevin leads me back down a flight of carpeted stairs back to the living room area where a glass hutch is proudly displaying various objects from different parts of the world.
“My highest award is the Army Commendation medal, but I am most proud of my Schützenschnur.” He points to a beautifully braided silver cord that is wrapped around the Bundeswehr eagle medal at the top. The Bundeswehr Schützenschnur is awarded to enlisted soldiers for weapons proficiency with a G36 German service rifle, a P8 pistol, and an MG3 machine gun. Quite an accomplishment seeing as it is not often that many American soldiers are offered that opportunity.
His experiences in Honduras and Bosnia would influence him to join the health services field.. “I did not think so at first, but I believe so now. I remember the children in Bosnia and Herzegovina. I pulled guard on a school for a few weeks and had a great time with the children. They thought all Americans ate MREs. They would beg for "lunch buckets" and pencils. I noticed there was a greater need once NATO pulled out. I assume that is why I went into social work when I left the Army. Once I started working with children, I loved it. Each kid is so special in their own memorable way.”
Over the course of four years, Kevin would conduct child welfare investigations, build cases, testify in court, and certify foster parents as a Child Welfare Specialist. Kevin recalls all the cases involving child deaths but one case in particular he wishes he could have changed. It was regarding the placement of an infant with his father. “The father, a Soldier, murdered the child. There was no reason to deny the placement, but hindsight is 20/20.”
Wanting to raise a family, Kevin left the health services field and now works for the department of defense. “I knew I could not work in this field and come home to my daughter each night. It is too emotionally draining. You have a tendency to think of your own children while investigating. It's hard not to act on your emotions when interviewing alleged perpetrators. Generally, the work is too hard on a person.” With difficult careers behind him, did all these events change how he would raise his daughter? “I feel it has made me a better father. I have more patience and enjoy the time I have with my Isabella.”
Post Write:
I'm not sure if it is just being away from it for few days but I feel somewhat better about this draft. I know Kevin personally and I fell like he deserves a better paper than I submitted. It looks cleaner because I was able to trim some of the fat off of it. I don't think there will ever be a point where I feel like the paper will be just as I want it. In this case, Kevin is someone I look up to at times so I don't think I'll ever get to a comfortable point with this essay without exceeding the limits of the paper. At that point it might end up being a biography (lol). If you had to do a profile essay for someone that you look up to, would you be able to write it between 500–700 words? Do you feel like it's a somewhat better draft than the first? I found myself having a hard time pinpointing a solid thesis but the paper lead me to go with dealing with tough times and if you can overcome its affects to go on to help others in their tragedies. Do you feel like the nut graf was clear?
Hi Nelson:
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting subject for a profile. I take it that your thesis is the following: Kevin takes his experience from the war and translates it into his civilian work, specifically, social services, right?
That's a thoughtful thesis, which seems to guide you through most of this piece, although I notice the veering away from social services at the end (with the good, stated reasons). How does his new work fit the thesis? Or is just obvious?
Take another look at the lead: I'm not sure that it fits into the profile's focus. What's its purpose?
As I say, you have an interesting subject and a thoughtful "nut graf." Is my take on the thesis the same as yours (your post write suggests otherwise, no?).
fragment? His face stern as scenes of Bosnia shadow across it . . . . . Quite an accomplishment seeing as it is not often that many American soldiers are offered that opportunity.
any particular reason why you figure in this profile? . I gather my things from the interview
The thesis is supported throughout most of the profile but seems to fade at the end. The lead requires more correlation to the subject. I feel that the parts you label as fragments seem to work well in the profile , as with the essays i have written up until this point. I am pretty sure I saw a couple of "fragments" in our textbook while reading in class. I can walk away from this essay knowing that a good profile requires a specific attention to detail and the right set of questions.
ReplyDelete